Episodes
Karen and Christy are in costume and ready to celebrate Halloween and the end of the garden season! We have curated a special episode just for the gardener. We warn you aboMeet Leslie and her black thumb of death. Her enthusiasm for plants, passion to learn and fun stories make her a great guest host. Find out why she grew up afraid of gardening and what happened to her miniature rose. Meanwhile, Christy’s managed to harvest a second zucchini and looks forward to the world’s smallest celery crop. The Main Event: We dig into all the plants we have killed before and why yellow leaves can be the result of so many things out of balance. Plus, learn the #1 way to successfully move your plants, how to overwinter geraniums and how to keep pets out of your plants. Kinda. Mail bag brings all the unique ways to make ketchup besides using tomatoes: even watermelon! Did you the voice behind Phoebe’s Phenominails is Leslie? So, of course we bring back one of our favorite pod plays. Then our friend Jim shares a beautiful Ode to Morning Glory. Some fun, some info, some bad jokes – all for you, dear gardeners! Support UDT by joining our Garden Party and get fun rewards!
Karen and Christy are in costume and ready to celebrate Halloween and the end of the garden season! We have curated a special episode just for the gardener. We warn you about deadly plants that can kill, tempt you with recipes for spooky season, share scary stories and treat you with a pumpkin bucket full of full of fun, original pod plays that we only play during Halloween. Yup, we have all the fan favorites: Ichabod Grain, Stranger Garden Things, Silence of the Lamb’s Ear and The Killing Frost. And we have a BRAND NEW Pod Play about The Squirrel’s nightmare on Halloween night. Warning: There are depictions of violence against pumpkins. Enjoy dear Gardeners!
Karen is back and together we are living the brand of celebrating garden mistakes. But, we are also enjoying the onslaught of tomatoes, squash and eggplant. What about our zucchini? (We have news!) And our pumpkins? (We have an update!) And the fish guts in our basement? (What the heck?!)
This episode is brought to you by the letter “A” – we bring a potpourri of garden tips and tricks that start with the first letter of the alphabet.
- Aphids: Did you know they poop out sugar?
- Annual Plants: Learn why you need them – even if you have commitment issues.
- Aerating: Find out why Karen is walking around her lawn in heels.
- Air Layering: Like Dr. Frankinstein, you too can scream, “It’s Alive!”
- Acid/Alkaline soil: Which is sweet and which is sour and why does it matter?
- Agastache: Learn all about Christy’s favorite plant – and how to pronounce it, too!
Plus a BRAND NEW Pod Play featuring Karen as The Squirrel! Enjoy dear gardeners.
Meet Karen! A new guest host and voice behind the infamous Squirrel in our pod plays. Karen tells us all about her garden: full of beautiful tomatoes, rogue pumpkins, pokey peppers and zilch zucchini.
Cathy Nesbitt from Cathy’s Crawlers joins us to talk all about vermicomposting and how to get a worm composting system all set up. She answers all your questions: What kind of worms? How to feed your worms? What is the best location? When to harvest their amazing poo? What if you are afraid of worms? What does Bruno have to do about it and why can’t we talk about him?
Squirrels are everywhere this episode. We share an encore of Karen’s first pod play with us as The Squirrel, Christy shares how she is protecting her pumpkins from squirrels – or not. And a letter from the Mail Bag busts our idea on keeping thirsty squirrels from our garden. What are we gonna do?! Fortunately, “An Ode to Hornets” puts a different perspective on how to treat the critters in our garden.
Worm Away Your Garbage With Cathy’s Composters!
Kathryn is back and says “moist” a lot. Christy has Pumpkin Pride. And we both still hate squirrels. Find out what Christy found in her driveway. And what the heck a Treegator is and why you probably need one.
Did you know there is a lot you can still plant in September? We get all into it. From veggies like lettuce and radishes you can enjoy before your first frost — to garlic and beets you can plant now and enjoy in the Spring. We don’t forget flowers! We tell you all about how to beautify your garden for the next month with pansies, marigolds and mums. And when to sow poppies, calendula, cosmos and bachelor buttons in September to get a spring showcase of blooms.
Mail bag reveals what a carrot and a diamond ring have in common. And a new pod play parody of HBO’s Succession, hand crafted just for the gardener. And people who like to laugh. 🙂
A busy & confusing time in the garden! Kathryn makes out with a tree and Christy is pickled. Tomatoes are coming in, but not strawberries or zucchinis. The sunflowers are drooping and the cabbage needs squeezing.
Then, we get into no-dig gardening: a growing method which feeds your soil, helps control weeds and saves your back in the process. We’ll share what easy supplies you need, when to start, where are the best spots and how big a plot you should have. Plus: Why lime can help get rid of grass? How do twigs help with clay soil? What is the difference between hay and straw? And all the things you can compost. (Including YOU!?)
Plus we have a brand new pod play, handcrafted just for the gardener: MsMarbles and the Mystery of the Missing Zucchini!
Meet Kathryn! Our first new guest host – who has great info on how to change your lawn into a new garden space. Christy is back from vacation and her garden is still alive! But no one snuck zucchini on her front porch.
If you have Japanese beetles, you won’t want to miss our talk with John Libs, the CEO of grubGONE! and beetleGONE! Learn more about the science of the beetle we love to hate and how grubGONE! has worked in Christy’s garden this summer. And what you can do NOW to get the upper hand next year.
We’ve got new fun pod plays made just for the gardener about missing garden forks and how to make sure your bovine poo is the best it can be. Plus a great letter about what to do about squirrels and how Jane Goodall might be the solution. Laughs and learning all over the place this week!
Let’s celebrate Edith’s best moments on Upside Down Tulips! We’ve got her stories about an Elvis-fearing squirrel and the Great Denver Beaver. Plus, the Grapefruit Caper and Bokashi Reveal. Do you remember how Edith cuts her hair or what her favorite spice is? Or why we had to bleep Edith on our Christmas episode?
As always, great garden tips like: how to grow bacon. And our favorite pod plays, mail bag and inspiration that lift up the witty, the silly and the profound: Edith Weiss.
It’s our Second Anniversary and Edith’s last show! This one has all the feels. Find out what is going on in our garden during the dog’s days of summer. Then we share a bunch of garden tips and tricks we forgot to tell you over the last year. Including answers to such burning questions like:
- How to tell if you have Verticillium wilt and what to do about it?
- What should you never put in your refrigerator?
- What the heck does a shoe organizer have to do with gardening?
Plus BRAND NEW pod plays of The Old Woman Who Used to Live in a Show and Antelope Twomey. And a surprise mailbag that has us in tears. Don’t worry – lots of laughs, too.
Thrifty gardeners, take note. This is all about doing it yourself. You can collect your own seeds, (but be very careful of one thing), make your own seed pots, fertilizer, compost, pesticides, soil test and potting soil. All organic, mostly made with stuff you have in your shed or pantry.
Plus a quick reprise of the ever popular Bokashi and the many maggots story. And why kids eating mud pies could be a very good thing.
It’s June, and the garden is action packed. There are peas to be harvested, garlic scapes to collect, and it’s time to resow or replant seedlings that didn’t make it. Is it too late to winter sow? You might be surprised by the answer.
Speaking of surprises, see how our gardens both surprise us (Wow!) and frustrate us (Ugh!) We talk radishes, roses, iris, leeks, peaches and aloe vera. Take action now to battle weeds, bugs, powdery mildew, and unpredictable weather. We’ll show you how. And take note: The Japanese beetles are coming!
Don’t Know Your Zone? Find it HERE
Let’s deep dive into tomatoes 2022! We’ve got breaking news on tomato health benefits, nutritional value of raw vs. cooked, the use of their pigment in making solar panels. Also – how to pick the best tomato plants from your local nursery, and what we are growing in our gardens this year. Plus:
- Why is a Better Boy tomato better than a Big Boy tomato?
- What is the difference between Sweet 100 and Supersweet 100?
- What the heck is an Inditerminate tomato?
- Are hybrids organic?
And of course, fun Pod Plays! This week we have tomato boxing at Madison Square Gardens and a brand new Old Woman Who Used to Live In a Shoe, who waxes philosophical and funny in her garden.
Don’t Know Your Zone? Find it HERE
You can roast it, grill it, soup it, zoodle it, sweet or savory it – it’s the amazing, versatile squash. And we tell you how to plant it, water it, protect it, cure it, and store it all the winter long. From the sweetest to the largest to the oddest; grow squash and gets pounds and pounds of food and a hedge against inflation. Plus,
- How to make an anti-fungal agent that protects against powdery mildew.
- How to hynotize a chicken, should you have the need to.
- Want to grow marigolds this summer? Thanks to a listener, we show you how!
- Stranger Garden Things are afoot as we premiere a new pod play. Oh My Gourd!
- And what is that white stuff falling from the sky?!
Don’t Know Your Zone? Find it HERE
Gardeners care about the planet, and if you are choosing between a lawn, an alternative, or a mix of the two – we have some very pertinent info on how to mow, how to water, how to fertilize, carbon removers, forever chemicals, ground covers and what kind of grasses are good for your zone.
And while you mull over these questions you can also:
- Celebrate what is blooming in our gardens. (Yay!)
- Find out what is dead in our gardens. (Ack!)
- Enjoy to a beautiful letter sent in from a listener – “A Sonnet to Spring”. (Cause gardening and poetry do have a lot in common.)
As Antelope Twomey, the Poet Laureate of Wyoming would say, “It’s mandatory”.
Live in Colorado? Sign up here to get rid of bindweed with a bug!
Gardeners care about the planet, and if you are choosing between a lawn, an alternative, or a mix of the two – we have some very pertinent info on how to mow, how to water, how to fertilize, carbon removers, forever chemicals, ground covers and what kind of grasses are good for your zone.
And while you mull over these questions you can also:
- Celebrate what is blooming in our gardens. (Yay!)
- Find out what is dead in our gardens. (Ack!)
- Enjoy to a beautiful letter sent in from a listener – “A Sonnet to Spring”. (Cause gardening and poetry do have a lot in common.)
As Antelope Twomey, the Poet Laureate of Wyoming would say, “It’s mandatory”.
Live in Colorado? Sign up here to get rid of bindweed with a bug!
Judy Seaborn, founder of Botanical Interests seed company, stops by to share her favorite gardening mistakes – and gives us so many great tips.
- Which plants won’t benefit from starting early?
- Which don’t like being transplanted?
- How do you keep your seeds from clumping in one place in the garden?
- What plant is a must in Judy’s garden this year?
Plus: If you plant onions in a circle do you get onion rings? Dandelions – good for bees or not? (The controversy begins.) We talk mugwort and borage, two ‘witchy” herbs. And we celebrate Shakespeare’s birthday with podplays featuring Hamlet and Ophelia; and Imaboil and Esmepus, 2 witches from Macbeth. Learn and laugh with us!
Check Out Our Friends at Botanical Interests!
Live in Denver? Come see the play we worked on! Runs until May 14, 2022
To celebrate National Gardending Day on April 14, we packed this episode with a wheelbarrow full of Spring tips and tricks!
Then, we give you something new! We interview an expert: Brittany Pimental, the Equity and Food Access Director at Denver Urban Gardens. We learned so much. Just about every city has a community garden program and they’re there to help you. We learn about viable seeds in ancient Egyptian tombs. Sustainability swaps? No, not a way to reignite the spark in a marriage. Find out what a food swamp is and if you’re in one.
Plus, Edith has a garden hack that grosses Christy out. Edith gets bleeped for the third time and Christy dreams of Japanese beetles. And what’s this about thanking your tool?
Come see the play we are working on! YOU WILL GET SICK by Noah Diaz
Check out our friends at Denver Urban Gardens
Can you smell the lilac? It’s all about common and not so common scents in the garden. Combat the malodorous smells of modern times – the exhaust, the garbage, your overly patchoulied co-worker – with the gentle scents that certain trees and plants will provide. Which ones are our favorites, which ones have medicinal properties, which plant can be sowed straight from a teabag. Listen as a letter from Doug gives instructions on building a chicken wire rabbit deterrent fence that just might work. And enjoy a new pod play parody on the TV show, Succession!
March 23, 2022
Episode: 79
Using the Academy Awards as our inspiration, we give awards to the favorites, and also the disappointments, in our gardens. Along the way we share what made our successes shine and what might prevent future failures. Trees to vines to veggies to flowers- from best ensemble to the most dependable to the villains – Garden 2021 has been a heck of a year. Plus buggy hollyhocks, raging at the radish, and the little seedling that could.
March 23, 2022
Episode: 79
Using the Academy Awards as our inspiration, we give awards to the favorites, and also the disappointments, in our gardens. Along the way we share what made our successes shine and what might prevent future failures. Trees to vines to veggies to flowers- from best ensemble to the most dependable to the villains – Garden 2021 has been a heck of a year. Plus buggy hollyhocks, raging at the radish, and the little seedling that could.
We’re gardeners and sports lovers, so let’s say this episode is smashmouth gardening. Where else are you gonna get that? We tell you which are the easiest veggies and flowers to grow, and give you tips to ensure your success. Do you like beans, carrots, zucchini, lettuce, and peas? Do marigolds, zinnias, cosmos, sunflowers and morning glories please your eyes? Add some hardy perennials and you have a beautiful easy peasy garden.
Plus an all NEW Who Killed Rosemary: Misty Contour, intrepid podcaster trying to find out who killed Rosemary, visits a neighborhood where she is stonewalled by all the neighbors. Door after door is slammed in her face. What are they afraid of? Is Misty in danger? The list of suspects grows…
We’ll Take Worm Composting for $1000, Ken. And Let’s Make it A True Daily Double! We explore vermiculture, which ensures that you can grow the most nutritious vegetables, the most beautiful flowers because you can make the best fertilizer in your backyard, under the sink, on your balcony. Are we pulling your garden-overalled leg? No, we’re not. Vermiculture is raising worms for their precious poop, and we give you the inside scoop. Where to put them, what to feed them, how to keep them alive.
Final Jeopardy: How planting sunflowers can take heavy metals out of your soil and how to get rid of poison ivy.
Get Worms & Stuff in Denver: Earthlinks Colorado
We’ll Take Worm Composting for $1000, Ken. And Let’s Make it A True Daily Double! We explore vermiculture, which ensures that you can grow the most nutritious vegetables, the most beautiful flowers because you can make the best fertilizer in your backyard, under the sink, on your balcony. Are we pulling your garden-overalled leg? No, we’re not. Vermiculture is raising worms for their precious poop, and we give you the inside scoop. Where to put them, what to feed them, how to keep them alive.
Final Jeopardy: How planting sunflowers can take heavy metals out of your soil and how to get rid of poison ivy.
Get Worms & Stuff in Denver: Earthlinks Colorado
What you can and what you shouldn’t do in your March garden. Direct sowing, soil conditioning, temperature watching, winter sowing, indoor seedling starting, perennial clean up – it all starts now. When, what, and why to prune off your trees. And take time for Your Morning Wordle – our new pod play in honor of you, the gardeners.
We took notes and name names. Of our favorite greens. Our goal is to have 9 months of fresh green salad stuff from the garden. Tips on growing endive, arugula, perpetual spinach, dwarf kale, corn salad, romaine and more. How to plant, harvest, care for, and fertilize. Along the way we get wayword and curdled noddles, grief stricken vegetables, and all root and no bulb enter the fray. Plus a brand new Old Woman Pod Play!
February 16, 2022
Episode: 74
“Butterflies are flying flowers and flowers are tethered butterflies”
Saving our bees and butterflies is also saving our food sources. We explain how you can help whether you have a garden or a balcony or somewhere to plant milkweed seeds for Monarch butterflies. And how to get those seeds for free. What colors and plants attract not just a butterfly but a kaleidoscope of butterflies. Not just a single bee but perhaps a bike of bees. Why you should never plant a butterfly bush, perversely counterintuitive though that sounds. Plus a podcast within a podcast: we’re getting closer to finding out who killed Rosemary, in a brand new pod play!
Find Your Local Native Plant Society Here!
Find out which heirloom seed company will ship you seeds with no shipping fees, and hear what may be the worst joke in the world. Then learn how to make two or more houseplants out of your existing houseplants by rooting, stem cutting, or dividing. Discover what pantry staple can be used as a rooting hormone. And if you think a “rooting hormone” has anything to do with why you are loathe to leave the house, give us a listen.
Also: What happens when a Crazy Cat Lady meets a Crazy Plant Lady? FInd out and have a laugh or two in a brand new hand-crafter pod play just for the gardener.
Some cool links to what we talked about this episode:
BONUS! Extreme Garden Games
February 2, 2022
Episode: 72.5
If you are not in the Garden Party, just click here: Support UDT by joining our Garden Party and get fun rewards!
In this week’s special encore episode, we share the difference between dirt, soil, top soil, potting soil, and seed starting soil. Who knew? We didn’t! But we do now. Also:
- How many worms in a shovelfull of good soil?
- How to use the principles of regenerative agriculture in your garden large or small.
- How do worms procreate and why should you care?
- Why does Plato the Greek philosopher think people are like dirt, and why you’ll agree with him.
So many questions. We have answers to a lot of them. Don’t confuse rotorooters with rototillers and the secret to a good marriage. Okay, we didn’t say one has anything to do with the other. Or did we? Listen to find out.
Winter Sowing 2! Good news! You don’t have to wait to garden. We answer your questions about how to sow seeds, outside in the winter. Does it matter where you live? When is the best time? Can you use compost? What is the best way to water? What kind of light? Should you ever take the tops off? What if it gets really cold? Along the way we have a hilarious headline correction from England, living bridges in India, and new ways to garden: free planting and leaving vegetable roots in the ground. Informative and funny, gardeners we’ve got your backs.
Winter Sowing 2! Good news! You don’t have to wait to garden. We answer your questions about how to sow seeds, outside in the winter. Does it matter where you live? When is the best time? Can you use compost? What is the best way to water? What kind of light? Should you ever take the tops off? What if it gets really cold? Along the way we have a hilarious headline correction from England, living bridges in India, and new ways to garden: free planting and leaving vegetable roots in the ground. Informative and funny, gardeners we’ve got your backs.
BONUS! Esmepus and Imaboil: Two Witches of Macbeth
January 19, 2022
Episode: 71.5
If you are not in the Garden Party, just click here: Support UDT by joining our Garden Party and get fun rewards!
In this Encore Episode, Christy teaches us how to winter sow, and it’s about the coolest thing a gardener can do. Meet Johnny Hardscribble, a tough guy who needed a Hail Mary to save his spirits and found one in his garden. Meet the Gardeners of the Galaxy: The Fairy Godwater, the Bee Team, and the Mulch Master. We also answer the tough questions: can you put deer poop in your compost? What is a knot nematode? And if someone offers you bunny honey, don’t spread it on your bread. Edith has a compost experiment and says “at least it doesn’t stink.” Wow, someone’s standards have sunk to a new pandemic low.
January 12, 2022
Episode: 71
Things to consider when planning your 2022 garden. How to lengthen the season in colder zones, new ways of watering, and inexpensive ways of providing shade. The new way Christy will plant her expensive herbs and the one herb Edith will never plant again. What you need to do in January to ensure getting the garden you want in July. Two treats for theater lovers: Hamlet and Ophelia in their frozen garden, and a mulch pile begging to be spread belts out Broadway tunes. “Ah, five, six, seven, EIGHT!”
BONUS! The Old Woman Gets Philosophical
January 5, 2022
Episode: 70.5
If you are not in the Garden Party, just click here: Support UDT by joining our Garden Party and get fun rewards!
You want to plant a garden. Now what? In this Encore Episode, we explore Gardening 101: where to put your garden, how to determine what kind of soil you have, and how to amend it. But along the way we’re discussing Gobbler’s Knob in Pennsylvania and Sir Walter Wally in Raleigh NC. We have tips on why thinning out boyfriends and carrots are important. We share soil tests you can do at home, with stuff from your pantry! Knot nematodes, spineless cactus, plumcots and cat skulls may not seem like they’re cogent in a gardening podcast; but you’ll see why they are. Also, an in depth discussion on why the word ‘moist’ is irreplaceable. You don’t want a clammy cake, do you?
“I can use some socks.”
If that quote doesn’t signal an exciting episode, we don’t know what does. It’s our annual Favorite Mistakes of the Year! We go through our many gardening mistakes of 2021, some of which ended in… plantslaughter! From too much sun to not nearly enough, from a hostile poppy takeover to accidentally killing houseplants – learn from us. And laugh with us!
Blanket yourself with this delightful Christmas quilt of an episode. From the care of your Christmas tree, poinsettias, and amaryllis to a mailbag featuring two of the most heartwarming stories we’ve ever heard. Plus, the most unusual “12 Days of Christmas” you’ve ever heard, a way to frustrate scammers, and a stomach churning Gift of the Magi. And “The Ghosts of Gardens Past” to warm your eggnog. Happy Holidays!
BONUS: The Old Woman Goes to a Gym
December 15, 2021
Episode: 68.5
We love the Garden Party! So, we have a new podplay, hand-crafted just for you. The Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe is going through nicotine withdrawal, and its not pretty. Neither slapping her wrist with a rubber band nor sucking on a green bean is helping. Enter Old Mother Hubbard and Jayne with a Y. After pumping, squat thrusting, and planking, find out how the non smoking Old Woman lived to see another day. Enjoy Dear Garden Party!
If you are not in the Garden Party, just click here: Support UDT by joining our Garden Party and get fun rewards!
In this Encore Episode, learn how to grow herbs! Have a container? A small patch of land somewhere? Plant herbs! There is nothing like fresh herbs that you have grown for your health, happiness, and recipe success. Let us help you with tips for sowing, growing, and harvesting your herbs. Plus intriguing truths:
- What is the most popular spice? (Hint, it isn’t Baby)
- How the Romans used the herb savory. Why medieval monks were forbidden to grow it.
- Meet an herb whose leaves tastes SO GOOD to 8o% of humans, is inedible to the other 20%, and then produces seeds that are a whole different spice!
- And the name of which herb is featured in what is arguably the best play written in the 20th century!
Journey through thyme (ha ha) with Upside Down Tulips. Plus – a special couple of humorous “pod plays” that celebrate The Natural State.
Edith and Christy search the globe and outer space, looking for unusual gardens. From above the Arctic Circle, to the indigenous forests of Africa – from the ketchup and fries plant, to where you can find gardens inside taxicabs, to a parody of “The Martian” – so much great information presented alongside funny letters to Santa and groan worthy puns. The elves Wunorse Opanslae and Shinny Upatree warn us about the one gift they never should have given Mrs. Claus. Believe it… or not!
BONUS! Who Killed Rosemary: The Yard Nazi?
December 1, 2021
Episode: 67.5
We love the Garden Party! So, we have a new podplay, hand-crafted just for you.
If you are not in the Garden Party, just click here: Support UDT by joining our Garden Party and get fun rewards!
In this Encore Episode, you can end re-gifting with our suggestions of wonderful gifts you can make FROM the garden and FOR the gardener. From body butter to soup of the month to sage bundles to Herbs de Provence – in these times where so many of us are operating on a Bob Cratchit budget, make wonderful gifts for about a ha’penny.
We also suggest some simple gifts for that special gardener in your life. Or for yourself! Or for us! We think we may be headed toward The Bigger Time – cause we have merch! Get your Upside Down Tulips Gear HERE!
This blockbuster of an episode includes singing, jokes to make ye merry, and colorful characters like Lara Lura, the Jolly Green Giant, Saint Nickerless, Sandy Clause, and a listener from Oregon who – oops – ate the whole thing.
Get seeds from our pals at Botanical Interests: https://www.botanicalinterests.com
In this Encore Episode, you can end re-gifting with our suggestions of wonderful gifts you can make FROM the garden and FOR the gardener. From body butter to soup of the month to sage bundles to Herbs de Provence – in these times where so many of us are operating on a Bob Cratchit budget, make wonderful gifts for about a ha’penny.
We also suggest some simple gifts for that special gardener in your life. Or for yourself! Or for us! We think we may be headed toward The Bigger Time – cause we have merch! Get your Upside Down Tulips Gear HERE!
This blockbuster of an episode includes singing, jokes to make ye merry, and colorful characters like Lara Lura, the Jolly Green Giant, Saint Nickerless, Sandy Clause, and a listener from Oregon who – oops – ate the whole thing.
Get seeds from our pals at Botanical Interests: https://www.botanicalinterests.com
November 24, 2021
Episode: 67
Happy Thanksgiving! Like friends and family coming to our table, we have new letters from listeners as well as favorites from last year. They run the gamut from the missing mashed potatoes to Spudsgiving. Plus a new podplay about the Cranberry Wars. Oscar Wilde, the Buddha, and the Minneapolis Miracle are already seated. We’ve saved a place for you. We would be grateful if you joined us.
We have gathered only good news, because things have been stressful and we needed it. News about how gardeners like you are helping with climate change, how architects are designing skyscrapers that are covered in gardens, how Maine has put itself in the forefront of the right to grow your own food and how a gardener in Atlanta created a sitting garden for her neighborhood. And more! Also, an unsolved garden mystery involving a huge zucchini and a bad assed gardener who takes his cue from Clint Eastwood’s persona provides laughs — because laughter is its own good news.
BONUS! Who Killed Rosemary: The Squirrel?
November 10, 2021
Episode: 65.5
First of all, thank you Garden Party. We have a new podplay just for you. Misty Contour, private detective with her own podcast, is back, and looking to find out who killed Rosemary. She interviews a logical suspect, the squirrel who we’ve seen ravage the tomatoes, bulbs, and bulbets in Christy’s garden in past podplays. She catches Edith in the process of screaming Die! Die! Die! Who is Edith killing with such glee? Why is the squirrel making disgusting nummy noises? Who killed Rosemary? So many questions! Do we have answers? Enjoy, dear Garden Party! If you are not in the Garden Party, just click here: Support UDT by joining our Garden Party and get fun rewards!
Listen to our previous shows!
This encore episode is about tools- not humans with appalling behavior but garden tools that help us out. Christy’s cartoon thumb bears witness to the importance of tools. She has definitely paid the price for yanking the cosmos. Hori knives in holsters, hand weeders, hacks you find in your kitchen or garage. Tools that blow which might make you feel like you’re licking the sidewalk. Waste of money tools. Tools with cancer warnings that has Edith playing detective. Meet Janelle the strict parent of her seedlings and Rowena, the very nervous gardener who stunts all she touches. It’s all here. Plus the most beautiful inspiration we’ve found yet. Gardening: It’s like falling in love with the ground.
It’s go thyme! This week is all about how to grow an indoor herb garden. But first, Edith encounters a persnickety security system demanding a “secret word”, Christy is starting a produce section in her attic, and we both had a fennel fail. What is the Persephone Period? We will tell you.
If you’re as determined as we are to grow fresh herbs indoors this winter, give us a listen. Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme – not just an old Simon and Garfunkle song. It could be part of your kitchen herb garden. We share what materials you will need, best practises and how to trouble-shoot.
Also, we’ve got a joke, an inspiration, and a sauerkraut recipe from a listener. Thank you Catherine, thank you faithful listeners.
It’s Halloween 2. We’ve got Tom Cruise, Ichabod Grain, and Canable Pectin. Wrap yourself in our Halloween quilt with the best stories from last year, new stories from our listeners, and two new podplays. We have tricks: how to eat an eyeball if you have to; and treats: The Silence of the Lamb’s Ear and a headless garden ghost. Revisit the haunted Fordney mansion which holds a true ghost story and find out what could happen if you garden after dark on Halloween. We’ve got tricks, treats and laughs. As Rosemary Clooney would say: “Come on-a my house, my house a come on – I’m gonna give you candy.”
We share new things we tried last summer and how they worked out. Good, bad, and ugly things. Important things like which tomatoes to plant to get rid of a soil fungus, the easiest beautiful annual to care for, how to have fresh greens in your garden for 8 months, and what is and how to grow a successful moon garden. Do you know what a Maximillian sunflower is and why it’s great to have it in your garden? And for chuckles, pod plays about being the quarterback in a garden football game and a new interpretation of “boxing tomatoes” starring Howard Cosell-ish.
We share new things we tried last summer and how they worked out. Good, bad, and ugly things. Important things like which tomatoes to plant to get rid of a soil fungus, the easiest beautiful annual to care for, how to have fresh greens in your garden for 8 months, and what is and how to grow a successful moon garden. Do you know what a Maximillian sunflower is and why it’s great to have it in your garden? And for chuckles, pod plays about being the quarterback in a garden football game and a new interpretation of “boxing tomatoes” starring Howard Cosell-ish.
Do you want to have a headstart for your plants in next year’s garden? We have the details on bringing in geraniums, rosemary, and peppers. The harden off/soften on method, the pruning, misting, microclimating, and dormancy inducing techniques that help your plants survive the winter in your house. Plus how to grow plants from cuttings. As well as a question about broccolini, a story about beavers, a 172 lb. cabbage, and a 76 pound rutabaga. It’s a supersized episode! Both of us laugh, both of us cry, but one of us is just kidding.
We are not an “organic proprietary mixture”, although we get a little ticked off by something that claims it is. We go into all the dos & don’ts and pros & cons and easy tips for how to freeze and can your harvest for the winter. Plus more drama: what died all by itself on Edith’s hügelkultur? Why does Christy’s pumkin look like Walter Matheau? Why is Edith afraid of canning equipment? And what, in the garden, will give you more, the more you use? These kind of miracles, giving trees, and why birds might be pooping on cars. It’s all here.
September 29, 2021
Episode: 60
A spanking new episode exploring upcycling for your garden: toilet paper rolls are not just for making chunky necklaces anymore. Second lives for soda bottles, boots, toilets, broken tools, bathtubs, tires and more. Learn to make your own pots for seedlings and then use a ‘seedling apartment building’ to shelter them. Whether it’s a recipe for drying cherry tomatoes with zero energy use, or a recipe for roasted tomato salsa, or the recipe that might have kept Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara together, this episode’s got it.
Everything you wanted to know about growing, curing, and storing garlic. The difference between hardneck and softneck garlic. What they have in common are fantastic health benefits. In Romania it is often considered as good as antibiotics! Plus eat the rainbow that’s not Skittles – a vegetable’s color is an indication of its health benefits. We explain. What we’re planting now – hoping it will overwinter and give us vegetables early in Spring 2022. And we pepper this barrage of information with two very funny Podplays that deal with a better way to awaken Sleeping Beauty.
Eating raw fruits and veggies is not only great for your health, but for your energy bills, and the environment as well. Not enamored of eating a pile of plain raw veggies for dinner? We have suggestions: recipes for cold soups, sauces, salsas and smoothies. If a Colorado garden zone 5B can produce fresh greens allowing you to eat uncooked nutritious foods for about 7 months, so, most likely, can your zone. Better skin, great gut health, improve your immunity: eat it raw. Plus we solve the blossom end rot on grape tomatoes but lose the battle of the pumpkins to squirrel saliva. It’s always something, isn’t it?
The September garden: watch out for frosts and for insects making homes in your garden cantaloupes. A to-do list that includes the hows and whys of watering, planting, harvesting, fertilizing, and weeding. What to do with a tsunami of tomatoes. Taking care of your lawn, flowers, and trees. We are so full of good information we could burst like Christy’s forgotten pumpkin. We also have questionable information as Edith gives her theory of the evolution of the French language. Could it possibly be true? Fiacre! We don’t know.
The September garden: watch out for frosts and for insects making homes in your garden cantaloupes. A to-do list that includes the hows and whys of watering, planting, harvesting, fertilizing, and weeding. What to do with a tsunami of tomatoes. Taking care of your lawn, flowers, and trees. We are so full of good information we could burst like Christy’s forgotten pumpkin. We also have questionable information as Edith gives her theory of the evolution of the French language. Could it possibly be true? Fiacre! We don’t know.
We want you to have a happy harvest so we let you know when your veggies are ripe. From beans to zucchini and most things in between, it’s about color, texture, smell, shriveled stems, green caps, tight heads, and leaves dying back. It might surprise you that in most cases, size doesn’t matter. Seed collector alert: what to start looking for before they blow away. Meet Buff Biffins the plant homicide detective who learns that sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind in the garden. Saints, assassin bugs, and little cabbages no one planted make unexpected appearances.
We give a tip of the hat to our Curmudgeons and share a story about the power of unexpected kindness. What you can plant today and still harvest before winter and why you should plant trees now. How to extend the life of the vegetables you have past your first frost date, the Persephone period explained, and sheltering plants for the winter so they’re alive come Spring. What happened to bad smelling Gunther and why the Dormouse accuses Alice of being a poisoner a perv. We know better – she’s just Alice in Gardenland.
The ubiquitous bane of the gardener – Bindweed. There seem be at least 50 ways to fight your bindweed – pulling, snipping, solarizing, suffocating, boiling, blow torching (really), using strong chemicals that kill everything around it and sometimes leaving bindweed standing alone on the hill, victory flag in hand. Yes, gardeners, it’s war. We’re on your side discussing what could work and how long it could take. Note: Be patient. And presenting 3 short comedies to ease your (and our) frustration.
We’re talking ways to save water that is both nutritious and free. There’s more to watering than what comes from your hose. We’re talking rainwater, gray water, black water, cooking water. One of these things is not like the other, however. How to collect water, store it, apply it to your garden. How to help save your lawn and water bill in this heat. From sprinklers, soaker hoses, rain barrels, and water absorbing polymers to aeration and hydrozoning, we cover this topic as thoroughly as the papparazzi cover Simone Biles. Speaking of similies, Agnes the community college instructor/radio host is back with a drama presentation about Tomato Town. And – curtain!
We discuss the things that can happen to your tomatoes, the ‘risks’ as it were: blossom end rot, blossom drop, not setting fruit, not ripening, Septoria, early blight, late blight, middle aged blight (just kidding on that last one). We tell you how to fix what can be fixed and when to throw in the trowel and not beat yourself up about it. Cause it’s probably not your fault! Plus Antelope Twomey is back with a moving and funny poem called “Ode to the Gardener”. It’s all about you, our gentle listeners and gardeners.
We discuss what we (and hopefully you) learned from each other this past year. Like how to do your own soil test, and what is Soil Pep? (It has nothing to do with pompoms or short skirts). We discuss gardening by grid, taking suckers off of tomato plants, how to garden without disrupting the natural way of things, why Christy has changed her mind on a certain store bought fertilizer and what went horribly, nauseatingly wrong with Edith’s Bokashi experiment. Gardening is not for the squeamish. From spiders in meat tubes, to squirrel skulls to Cindy Brady in the garbage – we get down and dirty in the garden. And not a hoe joke in sight.
- From the silly – shredded tweet and Salvadore Dilly, to the profound – May Sarton’s quote about gardening, we’ve got you covered.
- We fill in between the two, revisiting little bird buttholes, a deep confession from Christy, and the story of a man who cooked a smoked turkey into a salt lick.
- From the sacred – an homage to the gift of the Magi – to the profane – what an irritated telemarketer called Edith.
- And we’ve got an entirely new podplay of the Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe. What sets her off and has her calling out the artillery?
- Plus, we sprinkle in a few gardening tips and tricks along the way. Enjoy!
It’s hot and dry July. The early season plants are reaching their endtimes, flowers need to be deadheaded and the Japanese beetles are back! To temper the horror of that, Edith wrote a poem! We then talk 50 ways to kill your Japanese beetles. You could sweep, bag, spray, trap, grind, or entice them with a lovely fruit cocktail. (Fruit cocktail? What is this, 1954?)
You could also try Neem Oiling or Milky Sporing them to their everlasting rest. Then, for a little dark humor, we brought back Darla and the Jersey gangster Tone Baritone. And, as if all this murder talk isn’t enough, Christy has the most morbid inspiration ever, starting with the words “Every corpse…” and it doesn’t get any cheerier from there. Calm down or die. Grow something.
The start of July means summer is in full swing and our gardens are at the peak of the season. It is also a big month for garden maintenance. So we have gathered together over 20 tips on what you should be doing in your July garden – what not to plant, what you can plant, what to deadhead, how to get broccoli baby heads even if your original plant goes to seed. Plus: helpful info on pinching, watering, weeding, staking, dividing, mulching. So many “ings!”
Don’t know what a farrier is? Neither did we. Christy thought it might be a grower and caretaker of fairies. (!) Edith has been waiting for years to use the word “Oyez” in a sentence and finally found a way! We revisit Christy’s Horrifying Ladybug Incident and a listener explains why not everyone’s pee changes smell if you eat asparagus. And then Ben Franklin mansplains about the issue. (Go fly a kite, Benjamin, or at the very least stick to forming the US of A.)
The Garden Gnomes return in two fun pod-plays made just for the gardener!
We’re thrice potting cucumbers and shaking seed heads, all while exploring the world of vines. So much more than just a conveyance for Tarzan, vines shelter, give beauty, grow food, attract pollinators and hide unsightly views. Not even to mention that’s how grapes grow and that’s what makes wine!
Which vine’s seeds cause paralysis, labored breathing and convulsions- and still has “sweet” in its name? (That may be taking forgiveness a step too far.)
Let us introduce you to the Lazy Housewife Pole Bean and the Asian Winged Bean. The first is not a Victorian insult and the second is not an anime superhero. They’re beans you can grow in Zones 3-11 and who doesn’t want to grow colorfully named beans?
Also – learn about trumpet vine, honeysuckle, morning glory and how to grow your own loofah sponge and more! Do you have thistle weeds? We have tips on how best to get rid of it in Mail Bag. And two fun new “pod plays” made just for the gardener. Boom chicka boom boom!
“Hope is being planted and I feel it growing.”
We’re quoting from a listener’s letter because we’re too hot to say anything worth quoting. BUT we did have the presence of mind to gather about 10ish garden tips we forgot to tell you in the past year. Like what is well drained soil? Can you plant in a ziplock bag? Do you need different fertilizers for different plants and what is elbow soap? Why you should pinch your mum now and what the appearance of dog vomit slime mold tells you. Free resources, plants that resist bolting, red warty things, and if you see something spiny tiny and creepy in your garden- don’t kill it. It’s your friend. We’re your friends. We also have Cinderella and the Gardeners of the Galaxy. Join us.
The start of July means summer is in full swing and our gardens are at the peak of the season. It is also a big month for garden maintenance. So we have gathered together over 20 tips on what you should be doing in your July garden – what not to plant, what you can plant, what to deadhead, how to get broccoli baby heads even if your original plant goes to seed. Plus: helpful info on pinching, watering, weeding, staking, dividing, mulching. So many “ings!”
Don’t know what a farrier is? Neither did we. Christy thought it might be a grower and caretaker of fairies. (!) Edith has been waiting for years to use the word “Oyez” in a sentence and finally found a way! We revisit Christy’s Horrifying Ladybug Incident and a listener explains why not everyone’s pee changes smell if you eat asparagus. And then Ben Franklin mansplains about the issue. (Go fly a kite, Benjamin, or at the very least stick to forming the US of A.)
The Garden Gnomes return in two fun pod-plays made just for the gardener!
Things are popping in the garden and we’re getting down with our hoes. Christy’s roses are opening, something absconded with her cauliflower plants, and her rosemary after surviving the grim winter, has a ceased to be. It’s like a vegetal soap opera! If you think NPK is an arm of the Russian Secret Service, you need this episode. If you want to know why Edith is reading War and Pees in her bathroom, you should listen.
We explain how and when to fertilize flowers, vegetables, roses, and houseplants- one size doesn’t fit all. What unexpected trait is shared by some people and all herbs? What herb is so toxic any product containing it was banned in Canada and yet it’s a great natural fertilizer? What is the difference between organic and synthetic fertilizers? And why we are reconsidering using that blue stuff. Some great info here, gardeners.
Find Your First and Last Frost Dates Here!
What is my Gardening Zone? Find it Here!
Well, slap some bacon on that Vitamin K, it’s an encore! We discuss tomatoes from seeds to BLT’s. In the Middle Ages, Europeans thought of them as poisonous, the French thought they were an aphrodisiac and called them love apples. The Aztec called them “plump things with a navel”.
Plus: The difference between determinate, indeterminate, heirloom and hybrid tomatoes are discussed. All you need to know about planting, staking, and harvesting tomatoes. What to do about blossom end rot, blotches, wilt, rot, fungal diseases and pests. We unbox tomatoes that have been sitting in Christy’s attic for almost a year.
Then – new stuff! Health benefits! Edith finds out which tomatoes can grow in Siberia and Christy goes all hybrid for a while to outwit the fungus.
Pardon our garden clogs as we take time to work in our gardens and present our second episode of all garden comedy. Every gardener has a sense of humor. How else can we survive all the missteps and surprises?
Can bindweed make you laugh? We think so – revisit the Bindweed Singles Service and the worse come on lines you’ve ever heard – and we hope you will agree. Remember Agnes, the easily distracted creative writing teacher who also has a call in gardening show? We’ve got all the Agneses right here. Plus the Gardeners of the Galaxy, the Society of Gardener’s Patience, the Garden State and Yoga with goats and more. Enjoy!
“No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.” This is the catalog description of a rose named for a former first lady. Her reaction to it is priceless.
We’ve got the info on how and where to plant, prune, fertilize, water and care for the Queens of the Garden: Roses. Save money and up your rose game with our easy homemade fertilizer suggestions. We tell you about a thousand year old climbing rose that survived a WW2 bombing that destroyed the cathedral on whose walls it grew. Plus: do those Japanese beetle bags that attract and trap those pests work? And in addition to all this great stuff we have eunuchs in tunics, Romans in togas, cheesy dribs and limequats. Something for everyone, really. A whole episode about roses and we never use the word “prick”. Go us.
The Puckerbutt Pepper Company. Now that we have your attention, meet the subject of this episode, the superstar of perennials: the Iris. Used in perfumes, Bombay Saphire gin, and immortalized by artists: you gotta grow an iris. Really, so easy. We tell you, in detail, everything you need to know to keep this flower, grown by the Greeks and Egyptians, alive and thriving. With not a lot of effort. You don’t even have to mulch it! And you can ship it! Why painting them kept Van Gogh’s sanity (for a while anyway)and had O’Keefe keeping us wondering about lady parts all these years later. And why the Puckerbutt Pepper Company is aptly named. And back by popular demand, The Squirrel comes back in an all new fun sketch.
Have a container? A small patch of land somewhere? Plant herbs! There is nothing like fresh herbs that you have grown for your health, happiness, and recipe success. Let us help you with tips for sowing, growing, and harvesting your herbs. Plus intriguing truths:
- What is the most popular spice? (Hint, it isn’t Baby)
- How the Romans used the herb savory. Why medieval monks were forbidden to grow it.
- Meet an herb whose leaves tastes SO GOOD to 8o% of humans, is inedible to the other 20%, and then produces seeds that are a whole different spice!
- And the name of which herb is featured in what is arguably the best play written in the 20th century!
Journey through thyme (ha ha) with Upside Down Tulips. Plus – a special couple of brand new humorous “pod plays” that celebrate The Natural State.
Wanna grow fruit on trees, vines, shrubs or in containers? We’ve got you covered. With information on planting, pruning, and fertilizing your fruit bearers. Even growing citrus in your house. Cutting back your raspberries and giving your strawberries a haircut – who knew? Edith has some complaints about a company that did her (and maybe you) wrong. But she is avenged. Ground cherries are an endangered heirloom, as so few people are growing them. But we give you good reasons to grow them. Christy meets and gets advice from a superstar but you’ll have to listen to find out who it is. Dracula, Al Davis, and Phoebe of Phenoma Nails fame also make appearances.
Don’t have a yard or community garden? No problem! Learn how to use containers. A porch, a stoop, a stair, a roof, or a hook somewhere for a hanging basket will be enough to grow something. Terra cotta pots, plastic pots, grow bags, shoe racks, etc – it all works. We tell you which veggies, herbs, and flowers flourish therein. Thriller, spiller, filler – not a rip roaring Godzilla movie- it’s a container technique. As well as: make your own potting soil! We have the recipe right here. We’re following Christy’s battle with quack grass, and the many, many events that call on April to honor them – National Straw Hat month? Are you serious? Yes they are.
We have things that sleep, creep, and leap. Things that died, survived and are taking over. Advice on how deeply to plant all your seeds. Which seeds like a good soaking before they go into the soil, and how to protect them from birds and wind before they sprout. We’re not judgmental people, but there’s a right way and a very wrong way to pull seedlings out of their pots. And by wrong we mean it could kill them. And then – if they’re rootbound or their roots are whirling in a circle, what are you gonna do, Rootbusters? We tell you. Cause that’s the kind of gardening podcast we are. That plus laughter. You’re welcome.
From April to August, we walk you through what veggies and flowers to plant according to frost dates. Also in this action packed episode: when to deadhead flowers and divide your iris and tulips. Welcome back June and Madge, The Suburbanites, as Madge clutches her pearls and June busts out of her tight sweater and puts on garden overalls. Christy finds forgotten crocuses and Edith, known for her use of sophisticated words that don’t exist, talks about mucousy spinach. Something was said about Nebraska- no wonder we only have one listener there. Whoever you are, we both apologize for it and beg you to stay.
So much info: Spring planting of veggies, flowers, and bare root fruits, trees & shrubs. Spring fever is not just a feeling – we verify spring fevers and shatter equinox egg myths. Plant a bleeding heart, buy roses in the bag, and find out how the stealthy haboob came back. An even tempered backyard gardener almost loses her cool when pulling a weed with a six foot root, prompting a return of the Gardeners of the Galaxy. Find out which of the ingredients at the salad bar (remember salad bars?) can be planted in Spring. A great letter about propagating harvested vegetables in a bowl of water in your kitchen. Plus, ICYMI – if your pets are wearing a Seresto flea and tick collar – shades of Monsanto -take it off them ASAP. Oh my Gourd you’re welcome!
https://milliongardensmovement.org
It’s St. Patrick’s Day and it’s Spring Clean Up Time. A general rule for garden clean up is to wait as long as you can; so that beneficial insects such as bees, butterflies, and ladybugs stay sheltered. Also: How to identify and save any chrysalises you might find. We talk pruning your shrubby plants with woody stems, as well as perennial and annual flowers. We answer questions about winter sowing cause it’s not too late to do that. Don’t toil in moist soil – not only is it too many “oi” words in a row, it’s not good for your garden. Edith and Christy take turns pouting, the Old Woman in a Shoe is back, and meet Jean and George Gnome.
We’ve all spent A LOT of time indoors this past year, and hopefully you’ve had houseplants to talk to, care for, and clean your indoor air. And if you don’t have any, now is the time to start. Find out which are the easiest to grow. Which of them eat the sun and poop out air? Recipes for homemade fertilizers and organic pesticides to use on your houseplants. Learn about Edith’s beautiful Crown of Thorns and Christy’s 30 year old Aloe Vera.
This week’s mailbag is a thought provoking letter from a listener who harkens back to Ep. 19 (“Something Old, Something new, Something Bio-Engineered”) and relates it to her cancer, her brother’s birth defect, and the drugs that are keeping her alive. Eye opening.
And as always, some laughs along the way, hand crafted especially for gardeners and YOU.
‘Sup Birches! How’s your Aspen? After bemoaning our long gone Latvians and realizing we’re being shunned by Nebraskans, Edith and Christy pull themselves together and start talking trees and shrubbery. We love tree huggers! Trees take good care of us; we share how we can best care for trees. Where to plant, how to plant,and how to prune. Did you know trees are strategists? They employ the enemies of their enemies to stay well. Why your self care should include getting touchy feely with soil as you sit under a tree. And then we do the same with shrubs, except not the touchy feely part. Plus we reach back centuries to inspire you with the insight of William Blake, poet.
This week we share the difference between dirt, soil, top soil, potting soil, and seed starting soil. Who knew? We didn’t! But we do now. Also:
- How many worms in a shovelfull of good soil?
- How to use the principles of regenerative agriculture in your garden large or small.
- How do worms procreate and why should you care?
- Why does Plato the Greek philosopher think people are like dirt, and why you’ll agree with him.
So many questions. We have answers to a lot of them. Don’t confuse rotorooters with rototillers and the secret to a good marriage. Okay, we didn’t say one has anything to do with the other. Or did we? Listen to find out.
We’re gonna share our seed starting stories. You can simply use seeds and soil; or you can get fancy with grow lights. We have a follow up to our baby food story that you should really hear, even if it makes you mad. Get mad and garden. We’re here to help – show you how and when to start seedlings indoors, tips on which soil to use and how to water, and how to harden off. And if you don’t know what that means, you really need this podcast. And while the rosemary shrieks outside, hear a true story about the squirrel chittering inside Edith’s house as she has a Zoom business meeting. Plus an open hearted invitation to see Christy’s jugs on Facebook. Is that why Elvis’ eyes were smoldering?
Find Your First and Last Frost Dates Here!
What is my Gardening Zone? Find it Here!
Afraid of gardening? Grow a pear! Tune in as Christy and Edith take you through garden planning, deciding between seeds and seedlings, and finding out what category men under 35 lead in. Is Jupiter’s Beard a millenial male thing, and if so, why is Christy talking about having it in her garden? Without much gardening to do, Christy has musings and Edith has some shocking news about baby food, and promises to do more research for next week. What should you moisten before planting? Why don’t we know how to explain what “inoculating the peas” means? Cause we’re not scientists and we’re the first to admit there is so much we don’t know. But the things we do know – we share with you.
You want to plant a garden. Now what? In Gardening 101, we explore where to put your garden, how to determine what kind of soil you have, and how to amend it. But along the way we’re discussing Gobbler’s Knob in Pennsylvania and Sir Walter Wally in Raleigh NC. We have tips on why thinning out boyfriends and carrots are important. We share soil tests you can do at home, with stuff from your pantry! Knot nematodes, spineless cactus, plumcots and cat skulls may not seem like they’re cogent in a gardening podcast; but you’ll see why they are. Also, an in depth discussion on why the word ‘moist’ is irreplaceable. You don’t want a clammy cake, do you?
Like Michelangelo, we’re getting patrons, but we don’t have to paint a ceiling lying high on our backs. Gratitude to our supporters. Edith has a compost experiment and says “at least it doesn’t stink.” Wow, someone’s standards have sunk to a new pandemic low. Christy teaches us how to winter sow, and it’s about the coolest thing a gardener can do. Meet Johnny Hardscribble, a tough guy who needed a Hail Mary to save his spirits and found one in his garden. Meet the Gardeners of the Galaxy: The Fairy Godwater, the Bee Team, and the Mulch Master. We answer the tough questions: can you put deer poop in your compost? What is a knot nematode? And if someone offers you bunny honey, don’t spread it on your bread.
“A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule.” – Michael Pollan And a Home Owner’s Association is human nature ruled by totalitarians. At least, that’s how it seems to Edith and Christy in this bonus minisode. They are visited by the President of the HOA — also known as the Yard Nazi — and she’s loaded for bear. Christy still has a Christmas wreath on her front door. Edith hasn’t cleared out every inch of her garden. A battle of rules, regulations, and subsets to the rules ensues. But, the ladies have a secret weapon and the Yard Nazi is hoist with her own petard.
We start more seriously than usual, but soon we’re back to form with a show packed with humor and information.
- Which awards did we just win?
- Why you should never use one more than 239 beans for a soup.
- How you can avoid unknowingly eating a Bird Poopsicle?
- Why farmers in Botswana and Brazil are painting lion’s eyes on their cows’ rumps.
- How Christy catches Edith in a big fat lie. Will she, like the garden, forgive her?
- Which pick up lines to never use. Ever.
- Did you get your Upside Down Tulips T-Shirt?
- How can you join the Upside Down Tulips Patron Club?
Plus: We are laying plans for 2021 gardens: moon gardens, raised vegetable beds, wintersowing, corn circles, flowers, herbs and succulent beds. Find out what seeds we are going to plant and what seeds are so NOT gonna get sowed.
It’s our Curmudgeon’s Goodbye to 2020. Rosemary is for remembrance, parsley for regret. We remember our first podcast in which we stressed that we’re not experts, we garden by trial and error. And error. And error. So, we celebrate our Top Ten Garden Mistakes:
- Like the magical thinking Edith displayed in not taking out her ailing raspberry canes years ago.
- Christy not mulching soon enough, to the dismay of her tomatoes (Yes, Virginia, tomatoes have emotions),
- And not drying enough parsley before the frost.
- We share stories from “Gardeners Throw in the Trowel” (don’t do it!)
- What theater and gardening have in common.
And our Top Ten Garden Victories: growing cantaloupe successfully for the first time, a zucchini plant that stays in bounds, and Christy gardens butt out in her front yard with defiance: “Enjoy the View!”
Make merry with us! We gift you with lots of jokes and ways to take care of your poinsettias, Christmas trees and amaryllis flowers. Plus, we have touching and funny holiday stories. (Also – unexpected stories about flowers that look like penises and a word that someone calls Edith that has to be bleeped out! )
We have a gentle and sweet rendition of the Gardener’s Night Before Christmas. Because we’re not a Hallmark special, Christy shows us her dark side with a rather unique take on the O. Henry story about the Gift of the Magi. And: What would you do if someone left a partridge and a pear tree on your porch in the middle of freezing winter? Or if pirates cook the calling birds you’re keeping in your dryer? So many things are wrong in that sentence – you’ll have to listen to find out how all that came about.
End re-gifting with our suggestions of wonderful gifts you can make FROM the garden and FOR the gardener. From body butter to soup of the month to sage bundles to Herbs de Provence – in these times where so many of us are operating on a Bob Cratchit budget, make wonderful gifts for about a ha’penny.
We also suggest some simple gifts for that special gardener in your life. Or for yourself! Or for us! We think we may be headed toward The Bigger Time – cause we have merch! Get your Upside Down Tulips Gear HERE!
This blockbuster of an episode includes singing, jokes to make ye merry, and colorful characters like Lara Lura, the Jolly Green Giant, Saint Nickerless, Sandy Clause, and a listener from Oregon who – oops – ate the whole thing.
Get seeds from our pals at Botanical Interests: https://www.botanicalinterests.com
It’s a Minisode! Which means we’re doing the episode in really short skirts. (Of course that’s not true – these are show notes, not our Dictionary, so let’s get serious.) This week we share with you a little rom-com movie where Sam Hand meets Olivia Glove. Remember Christy’s encounter with the splinter that landed her in Urgent Care? Well here we are turning slivers of wood into comedy gold. “Hands down, the strangest movie I’ve ever seen”, said the L.A. Times. Does Hand go in Glove? Tune in and find out. That’s all we got this week. It’s after Thanksgiving and we’re as stuffed as the turkey was.
While giving thanks to you, our listeners, we share your Thanksgiving stories: Serving bagged giblets in stuffing, how making gravy from a smoked turkey is like getting blood from a stone, leaving the thanksgiving table in tears, and a Spudsgiving in New York. There’s something for everyone to relate to in our Thanksgiving Special. Have you met the hostess who puts your coat on the back of your chair while you’re still eating pie? Also, planting peas in November, harvesting corn salad and the squirrel is back and thinks he/she is Arnold Schwartzenegger. Sorry, we are confused about the gender of this squirrel but does it matter? No, it doesn’t. We’re grateful for you, dear listeners. If you do the cooking, we’ll bring the sides. Happy Thanksgiving.
What do limequats, ugli fruit and plumrumtubees have in common? We tell you. Learn how to petrify your pumpkins, and prolong your harvest off the vine. Along the way we discuss hybrids and heirlooms for your garden. And try to dissect the confusion around GMO’s – you can’t grow them in your garden, but why aren’t you allowed to know which produce in the store is bioengineered? And what should never ever use in your garden? And what movie is coming out with Christopher Walken that is about growing things? (hint: No Cowbell) We’ve got the information you need every single day.
This episode is about tools – not humans with appalling behavior – but garden tools that help us out. Christy’s cartoon thumb bears witness to the importance of tools. She has definitely paid the price for yanking the cosmos. Hori knives in holsters, hand weeders, hacks you find in your kitchen or garage. Tools that blow which might make you feel like you’re licking the sidewalk. Waste of money tools. Tools with cancer warnings that has Edith playing detective. Meet Janelle the strict parent of her seedlings and Rowena, the very nervous gardener who stunts all she touches. It’s all here. Plus the most beautiful inspiration we’ve found yet. Gardening: It’s like falling in love with the ground.
Who else makes you laugh while giving gardening tips? Join us in our garden tent for a very special episode filled with the best of our fun, farcical (and completely fake) commercials.
Oh the people we’ll meet- the curmudgeon, the pesky squirrel, Deadheaders, Sherlock, the Shoe Living Woman and Jack Spratt. Oh the places we’ll go! A gardening fashion show, a farmer’s market, a Shakespearen garden and a Jeopardy game. Oh the questions we’ll answer! Can you use mulch at a wedding, at a hockey game, or as a substitute for toilet paper? (Thanks 2020!) Gardeners, we really are all in this together. Join us, will you?
It’s frightening! It’s funny! And it’s all true. Walking by cemeteries, angry ghosts, and an eyeball eating obligation take pride of place in our special Halloween episode. We tell the story of the pumpkin – from Night Watchmen in the Middle Ages to Cinderella’s coach to lighting our porches for neighbor children as they trick or treat. Plus, how to roast perfect pumpkin seeds, a cider recipe, and goat’s head soup – things you’ll love knowing about. What are the unfortunate similarities between “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”, “Night of the Living Dead”, and “Get Out”? – things you’ll want to ponder. “The Killing Frost” and “Stranger Garden Things” – these will send a chill up your spine. Join us on the porch of Upside Down Tulips. We’ll have treats.
Christy has a profound realization: She’s a little bit (a little?) Martha Stewart and Edith is a little bit Mother Jones. (again – a little?) This week they bond over haboobs, which are not high breasted birds; to robins, which are red breasted birds; to gardening techniques. Hügelkulture, square foot gardening, gardens grown in containers, straw bales, milk jugs, hanging upside down from your porch – very much like the Hanging Gardens of Babylon built by Nebuchadnezzar… (very much? really?) Good news you can use: Denver Urban Gardens will lend you the land to garden, as well as cheap or free seeds and seedlings and Jovial Concepts will come to your house and do the gardening for you.
We’re talking fall clean up – not of your car, or your love life – of your garden. Christy is digging holes and Edith accidentally drops gutter gunk on her daughter. Along the way we touch on how giant hidden zucchinis are like the KBG, and how rosemary heads for the portal every March. A letter from Albuquerque teaches us about an exploding caterpillar, the importance of a back up caterpillar, and potato traps for pillbugs. Christy is in search of thrilling pumpkin stories. A first for UDT: a fashion show that previews what gardeners will be wearing next year. Plus all your questions about how and when to clean up and prepare your garden for a successful garden next spring.
It’s the 13th episode and the ladies are feeling lucky. Hear about recipes made from their harvest, what’s going on in their Fall gardens, and exploding hot and sassy sauces. But it wouldn’t be Upside Down if they didn’t take some unexpected detours. Such as: What is legs up and head down and isn’t playing football? Edith harvests a ping pong ball sized potato. Christy makes chicken stock and likens it to being happy, almost in a state of grace. Edith makes it and lifts a lid of fat. Edith encourages home made baby food. Christy makes pesto ice cubes; Edith prefers bourbon ice cubes. And the squirrel is back eating bulbs, bulblets, and edimentals.
Oh oh. Three members of the Brady tomato family reside in Christy’s garbage can. What did they do? If maggots reside in your compost: what should you do? What does young Audrey Hepburn in WW2 have in common with Scarlett O’Hara during the Civil War? How do the ladies of Upside Down Tulips find themselves dealing with questions no one ever wanted answered? From bulbs to bulblets, they do answer your questions of how and when to plant, and how to care for, your fall bulbs. Plus, the Old Woman has made a big mistake: will it destroy her marriage with Jack Spratt and send her back to living in the shoe?
Are you ready to decompose? No, it’s not Beethoven rolling over and undoing the 5th Symphony, nor is it falling apart during this pandemic; but making you feel like a Superhero by composting. You can help fight climate change from your yard or kitchen counter.
Compost adds nutrients to your soil, thereby adding nutrients to everything you grow. Enrich your soil and your life! Do it like nature does! We answer your important questions: Why to compost, who can compost, how to do it, when to do it, what to put in it. Play along with us on UDT Jeopardy. Yes, we’re helpful, amusing, and kind of interactive.
From the garden to the freezer, the attic, the canning jar – we share how to preserve your harvest, which can supply you with your garden grown food for the winter. Just like great great grandma used to do. No wonder our ancestors lived long and prospered! So much information about freezing, canning, pickling, and drying your harvest. Edith has fears about botulism and hot jam happenings that Christy puts to rest.
In the garden update, we discuss the things we did (and that you can do) when an early frost threatens your harvest. And Edith finds something that has grown surprisingly large under the sheet. Be amazed as Edith and Christy simply cannot come up with the word “husks” – no more proof is needed that the show isn’t scripted. And of course, fun commercials and mailbag!
Find your local food pantry at: https://ampleharvest.org
An episode that is international in nature.
We go from a seed depository 700 miles past the Arctic Circle to a bus in the Alaskan wilderness where a young man ate the poisonous seeds of the wild potato to the packet of split peas in your grocery store. We get a letter from Ladenburg Germany and also from Commerce City Colorado!
The Old Woman Who Lives in a Shoe marries Jack Spratt and uses Upside Down Tulips to help her grow a garden. You know you’ve grown too many spaghetti squash when you contemplate using them as speed bumps.
Seed trivia: the oldest seed, the largest seed, the most seeds from one plant. The Zombie Apocalypse makes an appearance along with useful information about collecting and storing your own seeds.
And, just when you thought it couldn’t get better, the gardener as the Quarterback of his yard takes it to the house! Football, gardening, shoe living – it must be Upside Down Tulips.
The ladies, six months in to hanging out at home, get philosophical, and in Christy’s case, musical as she sings our theme song. Christy comes over to Edith’s yard with an upside down broom and a can of Panko. It has something to do with Japanese Beetles but – maybe she’s losing it just a little?
Fall transplanting talk – why you should, when to, how to, all without murdering your plants. Shakespeare drops in twice with gardening woes. Edith pulls out another cauliflower plant that is “all hat no cattle.” “All buckle no belt.”
Edith muses about being 14 again and finding different ways to ruin her life – she has new ideas. From Christy comes out with the pithy “Until it’s dead, it’s not.” And “Too many freaks not enough circus.” At which point we silently wonder if we are the freaks and the world is the circus.
It’s not too late to grow something! The how’s and why’s of fall planting take center stage – radish, lettuce, spinach, kale and beets – and what to do to get one more harvest of vegetables before the first frost. Do you know the importance of thinning? (Your plants, not your pandemic bod.)
Plus, Christy and Edith discuss dog vomit slime mold, (appealing to the pre adolescent boy demographic perhaps?) cucumber suckers, (not what you think) and making bags of soup greens. Find out why Gertrude “A Rose is A Rose” Stein is dissatisfied with gardening. Christy finds an antidote to stress with Red Bird In Tree.
And of course, some fun commercials and letters from the mail bag!
We discuss tomatoes from seeds to BLT’s. In the Middle Ages, Europeans thought of them as poisonous, the French thought they were an aphrodisiac and called them love apples. Kind of explains all those wars they had. The difference between determinate, indeterminate, heirloom and hybrid tomatoes are discussed. All you need to know about planting, staking, and harvesting tomatoes. What to do about blossom end rot, blotches, wilt, rot, fungal diseases and Japanese beetles in your garden. We unbox tomatoes that have been sitting in Christy’s attic for almost a year. As exciting as the Masked Singer, only tomatoes don’t sing.
Christy ponders organ harvesting versus organic harvesting. We choose to discuss the easier and less risky procedure. Mysteries are solved: what are the seeds people are receiving, unsolicited, from China? Why did Edith’s iris stop blooming? At which point Christy makes a hilarious mistake on air involving said irises and supreme beings. We give explanations of when and how to harvest the vegetables in your garden. We hear a 3 Stooges joke that Edith didn’t realize was meant to be not funny so she fake laughs really hard. And we have a surprising and profound epiphany – “Always blame the real estate agent.”
Edith has a vengeful zucchini plant that caused a shovel to smack her on the head, and Christy tells of the time she was covered with hundreds of ladybugs*, and it wasn’t a romantic running through the meadow commercial. Christy and Edith eat edible odd things: purslane and radish seed pods. Hear about a wonderful garden hack that saves your strawberries from the crows. Why do Edith’s spaghetti squash look like thick badminton racquets? We had a good discussion about letting the good bugs fly/crawl free: fireflies, roly polys, ladybugs*, earwigs, lacewings, wasps, bees, worms. But let’s be merciless with those things that would destroy all our work or bite us unceasingly: deerflies, Japanese beetles, harlequin bugs, aphids, slugs. Plus we have a talking squirrel and it ain’t Bullwinkle’s Rocky.
Edith is looking more normal as she has remedied the awful haircut she gave herself. But normality is quickly bypassed as Christy explains she is going to try to garden with her arms palm side up, and then explains her Brady Bunch garden plan. We learn that deadheading is not a tribute to Jerry Garcia, and that there is a garden hack for keeping your cauliflower from turning yellow. Invasive weeds, some edible, are discussed – purslane, dandelions, prickly lettuce, creeping Canadian thistle, and lambs quarters. Christy tells us how not to be dominated by these invasive flowers: morning glories, lemon balm, California poppies, lamb’s ear, Larkspur and Johnny Jump Ups. Both Edith and Christy admit to subterfuge weeding of their alleys.
Mother Nature came down from the mountain to give us the two most important commandments for the garden: watering and mulching. And yes, there’s a right way and a wrong way. Or, in gentler terms, there’s a good way and a way that wastes water and can spread disease. Is it even a contest? There, we are being delicately rough. (See Ep. 1 for reference.)
We discuss Edith’s pandemic haircut (not good) and agree that the garden doesn’t judge. A listener’s concern about blossom end rot on his tomatoes is discussed. As is tomato rust. And mulch. Why you should always mulch it! Where and how. A mystery: what is growing out of Christy’s compost pile? How might it involve a little bird’s butt? What the heck is evapotranspiration? What is the meaning of life? No, we don’t solve that, but it probably comes down to gardening.
Meet Christy and Edith. We are unemployed theater people and gardeners, and share our top ten gardening mistakes.
You learn how not to sow carrots, how to plant your seedlings in ways that don’t slowly kill them, and some awful mistakes made using plastic in the garden. Have you unwittingly nurtured a weed, thinking it was a flower? We have. Have you planted something you had no idea was invasive and now have a battle of wits with a plant that will go on for decades? We’re nodding. We’ve done it. From the pain of power raking bindweed to planting tulips upside down to a paralyzing fear of harvesting-you’re not alone.
Join us for some gardening knowledge, some laughs, and our reassuring motto: “If you make a mistake, the garden will forgive you.” And remember, if you want more, check out blog and the amusing and helpful Upside Down Dictionary on our website.